All the Concerts Fit to Print

It seems like my friends all wanted to see Motley Crue, but I wanted to see the Scorpions. Phil and I had seen them several years before and had a great time. I ordered tickets - lawn seats - just a few weeks before the show. The tickets never came. So we went down, and Will Call said they didn't have any tickets for me. They explained that the tickets came in an unmarked envelope which looked like junk mail, and I was a little upset. I was wondering if I'd have to shell out the cash for my friends' tickets, when they gave me tickets anyway. I was very grateful that they did this. I wonder if many people scam them for tickets this way.

Scorpions were not all that great this time. Probably because we were far away in the lawn, rather than down front at the arena. Not only could we not see the band very well, but the sound wasn't that good.

I never liked hair metal, and wasn't looking forward to seeing the Crue. I had pretty much convinced myself before the show, however, that it wouldn't be that bad. Though I didn't much like them back in the day, they couldn't *that* bad. I was wrong. The show was awful. It reinforced everything I hated about eighties hair metal.

Here's a review that I wrote at the time:

They rocked! What more can be said? They just fuckin' rocked. That's what they do. They played all their old hits, like "Shout at the Devil" and "Dr. Feelgood". Even after all these years, they've still got it, because everybody got into it, yelling and waving and everything. They even played a song by The Sex Pistols. Anarchy! Kick ass.

Let me tell you, that Vince McNeil was one bad mutherfucker. He must have been, because of how much he said those words. I know when someone throws around the "F" word like that, he's not someone you want to fuck with. He was a real showman, too, because of how often he yelled to the audience to make some fuckin' noise. He really had a way with the crowd.

Then there was Nicky Sixer. He was a nasty dude too. You should have heard him bad mouth "that other fuckin' radio station that calls themselves Rock, but really plays shit like Nsync." Man they must be a real loser station, whoever they are. Then when he brought out those babes, when he said to show us what the band is all about? And they were like all over each other! So I guess the Crue is all about really wild sex ('cause I know they're not lesbians). Those were some hot chicks, let me tell you. When that one chick was wearing leather and had the whip, and the other one was like, all over her, that was awesome!

Their new drummer, James Carvill, or someone (I didn't quite catch his name), was pretty fuckin' good. He did, like, a ten minute drum solo. They wouldn't even let John Bonham do a ten minute solo. It's too bad Tommy Lee isn't still with them. Back in those days, they were the best. Top of the fuckin' heap. Besides, maybe Pamela Anderson would be one of the dancers. You should have seen when those girls took their tops off! They held them in front of them, but you could still kind of see their titties sometimes.

A band called The Scorpions opened for them. They weren't too bad. They didn't have the raw power of the Crue, and they needed two guitarists, but other than that, they were a good opener. They'll probably be around again.